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loudmouths) wrote2017-01-31 04:48 pm
[ keigo had a feeling his "compliment" (alleged compliment, as it really wasn't said with any ulterior motive than just to speak how he felt) would potentially upset ragna. he gave off that air, a familiar sort of attitude that pricked at the precipice of keigo's far-off memories. someone who maybe took a burden on himself, though keigo wasn't stupid enough to assume of what nature. maybe he really was an evil person in a past life, or even his current one, but keigo had yet to see evidence to support that.
which was why he didn't really... flinch away at ragna's outburst. he didn't look at him any differently, not with pity, not with a condescending glare. almost unreadable for a brief moment before he turned back to look at the headstone. ]
I don't.
[ he said simply. ]
For all I know, maybe you wanted to leave me to die, but didn't want Akira to witness it. Anything's possible.
[ he closed his eyes and breathed out. ]
But you didn't. And that's what I can go by. If you prove me wrong, then I'll come back here another day and tell them that.
[ keigo's eyes opened and he lifted his gaze, looking sidelong at ragna once more. ]
I still owe you regardless, though.
[ as ragna went off, keigo merely kept his gaze locked on him from the side. the words stung, they always would, but he knew he stepped over some boundaries and that just came with the territory of opening his mouth. but he'd meant what he said and wouldn't back down, not unless ragna decided to get violent... but at least that didn't seem to be in the cards just yet.
when ragna finished, keigo turned his gaze back toward the headstone and exhaled softly. he didn't really know what to say to that, if anything. ragna seemed the type to not back down once he had his mind set on something, and keigo found that admirable in a way. he certainly wasn't owed his acceptance or even tolerance, though he wondered how many times that mentality would end up getting ragna in more trouble than it was worth... ]
I'm not a good person.
[ he said plainly, just as before, then finally lifted his gaze away from the headstone. he, too, seemed to feel as though the conversation was perhaps not ideal to have in front of a grave. he turned to face ragna, despite his averted gaze, and breathed out a humorless sound. ]
So, I'd have to say that you can't really assume the same things about me, either, if we're going that route.
[ he gave a shrug and walked past ragna to the neighboring headstone, crouching down to pick at stray weeds that had taken root from years of neglect. ]
Whatever I did in my past life got me killed for it. So, this place—this city—might be some kind of purgatory if you ask me. Maybe it's here for all of us to learn from the mistakes of our past selves. Who knows? Maybe it really is some kinda matrix we're all plugged into and it's as simple as that. [ a distant smile crossed his lips as he tugged out another weed and set it aside. ] That's why I can only judge by what I'm given. If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong. I'll find that out sooner or later.
[ he tilted his head back and looked at ragna with another neutral expression, difficult to read by even those who knew him. ]
So you can have my condolences and my gratitude, anyway. If you don't want it, then you don't need to take it, but it's there. I do think you're a good person, at least somewhere. You don't give me the same sense that other people do.
[ though whether that was pure intuition or keigo's own abilities at work, it was hard to say. he certainly didn't seem to be keen on divulging that. ]
[ keigo was well aware by now that his standards were less than stellar. between the memories he regained and the things he'd experienced in the city, there was little room for argument in that department. so, he sort of let ragna's remark roll off of him for now. maybe later he'd address it, but for the time being, he was far more interested in ragna's reaction to his theory.
lifting his head up, he watched him with a slightly quirked brow, then a crooked smile crossed his lips. that sort of fiery passion... it was inspiring, he had to admit. definitely reminiscent of that person from his memories. but, keigo did have to point out one inaccuracy in what ragna was asserting: ]
That's not what I meant by being proven wrong.
[ whatever smile keigo had sported had faded, his eyes sharpening as he looked at ragna. standing up again, he faced him fully. his demeanor was not indicative of someone who was going to just let that remark slide. ]
The things I've seen when people lose this app... lose their memories again...
[ keigo looked as though he was in a great deal of pain just bringing that up, but he moved past it with a shake of his head. ]
Make no mistake, I'm not sitting around waiting for an answer. I want to save them. To protect them.
[ he paused briefly, glancing between ragna and the rest of the graveyard, then back again. ]
I meant with you. I'll let you prove me wrong. If you're a shitty person, I'll find out and I'll take back what I said. But until then, I guess you'll just have to deal with my blind faith.
kindhearted
2018-07-12 04:04 am (UTC)(link)
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