loudmouths | PRISMATICA ►INBOX

[ Keigo had a strange way of pulling Renji into his emotional spirals. When he flushed, Renji did the same, like mirrors reflecting into each other. A slight shade of pink tinged his cheeks and his face felt warm even while his now empty hands felt clammy. Renji was a little quicker at the recovery, though. Or so he thought. ]

Can't I give you somethin' 'cause I want to?

[ That admission was too candid by half and as if to mock him, much better answers sprang instantly to mind. He'd missed Keigo's birthday, which was true. He wanted to make up for the ringer he put him through in the Lightless, which was also true. But neither that nor the dozen other things that he could have said were any more true than the words that actually left his mouth. ]

Just open it already.

[ Renji crossed his arms, tucking his hands under his elbows in a somewhat imposing posture if it weren't for the nervous, stiff line that his shoulders formed. Whenever Keigo decided to open his gift, he'd find a crescent moon-shaped barrierette, fashioned with gold and decorated with a lustrous, sky blue jewel dangling off the lower point. ]

Edited 2019-07-21 07:09 (UTC)

[ the short answer was no because keigo always wanted a reason for these random acts of kindness. but in reality, he also wasn't about to stall out for a carefully crafted reasoning when no reason at all was probably just as heartfelt.

still, he was a bit uncertain. without knowing the reason, he couldn't possibly guess what was inside. that was a bit frustrating, all things considered. but renji looked fairly impatient for him to open it, so he went ahead and pulled the wrapping apart to reveal the treasure inside the box. ]

Uoh...

[ well, it certainly was pretty... but keigo wasn't sure what it actually was. some sort of accessory, that much he determined, but why? he blinked past the initial reaction of awe and lifted his gaze to look at renji quizzically. ]

It's pretty but... what is it?

[ The quizzical look only got a shrug in response from Renji, quite an odd-looking gesture on him with his hands still tucked firmly under his elbows. The reaction was a bit more muted than he expected... but then again, he also thought Keigo would already know what it was and all he'd have to do is explain what made it's special. ]

The wolf guy runnin' the shop told me it's a barrette. You wear it in your hair.

[ Renji motioned to Keigo's head. The merchant had shown him how to equip it and it looked pretty foolproof. And stylish, which was just as important. ]

When you need it to, it summons a barrier. So you can protect yourself.

[ The emphasis Renji put on the last part was rife with meaning. So Keigo could protect himself because this world was dangerous, because Renji had already proven that he couldn't always be there to protect him. But between the lines, what Renji meant to say was that Keigo and his continued well-being was always on his mind. ]

Edited 2019-07-21 07:46 (UTC)

[ ah, he should have known. or at least, he should have taken the barrette out of the box before asking questions. truth be told, he was afraid of it being more fragile than it looked. ]

Ohhh... I see it now...

[ a bit embarrassing. but now that he knew what it was, there were a few questions that seemed to crop up... but first, keigo looked at the little barrette, then back up at renji with a small, slightly sheepish smile. ]

Um... but thank you. I didn't realize you were that worried about me...

[ Renji returned Keigo's slight smile with a serious expression. This would normally be where his pointless bravado would try assert itself, insisting he wasn't that worried. Instead his eyes shifted to the small box in Keigo's hands. He sighed sweet fragrance, the ruler-straight line of his shoulders slumping a touch. ]

...Yeah. [ Yeah, he was that worried. And yeah, he'd tried to make sure Keigo wouldn't know how deep those still waters ran. ]

I don't want you gettin' hurt. And after everything that's happened...

[ Renji's hands closed into fists, tightening as memories of that disastrous mission surfaced again. How they'd both been beaten, shot, bled because he'd been far too careless. After a moment, his gaze turned back outwards, looking at Keigo with the concern in his gaze no longer veiled. ]

You'll wear it, right?

[ ah, so that was what this was about... while keigo was hardly a fighter, he also wasn't the type to blame anyone for his own mistakes. he knew it was a potentially dangerous mission, but he insisted on going, anyway. what happened wasn't anyone's fault but his own.

all the same, he knew how renji was. he wanted to keep keigo safe. it was humbling to think that he was on his mind that often, but he also couldn't help but feel guilty for putting renji in that spot in the first place.

keigo's smile faltered a bit, lips curving downward as he truly felt renji's concern seemingly radiating off of him. ]

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

[ for good measure, he took it out of the box. ]

Wait here.

[ with that, he retreated off into the apartment. ]

[ Renji nodded at Keigo as he turned and disappeared into the apartment. After a moment, he ran a hand through his hair, arms finally uncrossing.

This wasn't... really the mood he was going for when he decided to visit Keigo. He sounded miserable on the network, he looked sort of miserable now. Renji thought a present might have made him feel better... But then again, this wasn't really a cheer up gift as much as it was a "sorry about almost letting you die in an underworld criminal den" gift.

Still, he didn't give that barrette just to make that everpresent smile of Keigo's slip, even for a moment. ]

Idiot.

[ Well, clumsy as the delivery was, at least Keigo had the barrette. That's what really mattered in the end. Renji leaned against the wall and waited and tried to be content knowing at least Keigo would be safe. ]

[ while renji had his moment to himself, keigo was standing in front of a mirror in the bathroom, holding the barrette in his hand. he looked at himself, combed his clawed fingertips through his hair, then gave a sigh. he really didn't know what to do to make renji feel better, other than show him he was taking his concerns seriously.

so he put the barrette in his hair, sliding it over the right side and clipping it in place. it probably looked... a little goofy. he was a guy, after all, but if this was what renji wanted... ]

Okay.

[ looking a bit sheepish, keigo came back into the main room where renji was waiting. his face was flushed and he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt as he walked closer. ]

There. See?

[ he turned his head to the side to let renji look at the clip in his hair. ]

[ Hearing Keigo's footsteps, Renji looked up just in time to compose himself as he re-entered the main room. Renji's gaze tracked from Keigo's flushed face to the thin twist of gold and the swaying jewel in his hair. Renji took a step closer, his lips curving into a short smile. ]

Looks good.

[ Real good, actually. Kind of lovely, with his face all red and the blue pendant glinting when he fidgeted. The colour suited him.

Renji's hand lifted to brush at the soft, gathered strands of hair. That magnetic pull of Keigo's pheromones stirred the air, but Renji stopped just short of indulging the touch any further. ]

Uh... [ Renji's hand fell back to his side, his cheeks beginning to colour as well. ] You didn't have a hard time putting it on?

[ whenever renji happened to look at him like that, eyes alight and smiling, keigo couldn't stop the fluttering of his heart. it was a level of affection he was grateful to be the recipient of, even if the situation was a bit embarrassing...

his eyes closed briefly as renji touched his hair, enjoying the contact. he was fairly starved for attention, and subsequently chroma, so the connection was appreciated. too bad it didn't last that long. ]

Mmn, not a lot... [ keigo admitted, opening his eyes again to look up at renji with a sheepish smile. ] It was pretty simple. You really think it looks okay?

[ That flutter of Keigo's eyes closing as his fingers stroked along his hair roused something Renji, a strange warmth entirely aside from the tingle of Chroma blossoming between their touch and the pheromones hanging in the atmosphere. It caught him a little off-guard, enough that when Keigo asked him the question he answered hurriedly, honestly. ]

'Course. Better than okay.

[ No sooner had the words left his mouth than Renji glanced away. He looked like he was in some kind of competition with Keigo to see who could become the most flustered in the shortest amount of time and he was trying to give him a run for his money. His hand came to scratch the back of his neck, clearing his throat a little. ]

...As long as you like it.

[ If it was possible to look away harder, he would. Somehow, Keigo made all this stuff look so easy by comparison. ]

[ keigo watched renji's hurried reaction with a mild sense of amusement; he could tell when he was fighting with his more tender side and it often elated keigo to see that tough guy exterior chip away little by little. complimenting him so honestly did bring a bit of a flush to his cheeks, but the endearing way renji looked around at anything other than keigo outweighed any embarrassment he might have had. ]

Heheh, is that so?

[ cordis's cycle tended to make keigo more flirtatious than normal, and it was working its magic on him as keigo reached toward renji, chuckling warmly. he gently slid his clawed fingers against renji's chin and jawline, coaxing him to look back directly at him. he would offer renji a soft smile, eyes reflecting some amusement, but the absolute endearment toward him wasn't hard to miss. ]

I love it.

Edited 2019-07-26 05:31 (UTC)

[ The sound of Keigo's soft laughter drew Renji's gaze first, instinctively seeking out a hint of his lips curving from the corner of his eye. His touch directed him further, unflinching as the gentle prick of claws skimming his skin guiding him until he faced Keigo again. There was still a fading flush on his face, but Renji could swallow some of that blundering embarrassment for the sake of those eyes watching him so warm and fondly he almost wasn't sure that Keigo was actually looking at him. He only believed it because of that little spark of teasing amusement, knowing how much of a sappy fool he couldn't help acting like in these private moments. ]

...Good.

[ Renji cracked a smile too, nearly as soft as the one he was reflecting. His hands slid up to Keigo's waist, a reflex tugged along by the sweet scent suffusing through the room. He didn't end up drawing him to his chest, pressing his face to the crown of his head, even if the coax of that bouquet-like perfume made him want to even more than he usually did. But he didn't want these gestures to come off forced, compelled, "problematic". He hoped the sincerity of wanting Keigo close to him came across in his own way, with the gentle rub of his thumbs at his hip and the brief tightness of his fingers before they settled and went lax. ]

Bet you're glad you let me in now, eh?

[ And not just because he wouldn't have to deal with a broken door. ]

[ keigo wasn't stupid, even if he could be dense, in a manner of speaking. there was no way he could miss renji's shift from flustered to truly affectionate, of course, but more than that, the subtleties in his touch as he drew him in just close enough were easy enough to pick apart. it was slightly guarded, yet eager, and keigo had to wonder if renji was holding back for some reason or another.

then, as renji nuzzled at his hair, keigo remembered. renji said it quite plainly, after all. bringing them right back to that concern of keigo's: of renji being drawn in like he was hypnotized. clearly he could resist for now, but the risk was there, wasn't it? keigo's lips drew tight; he was resisting, too. he had urges to moonlace that were difficult to resist with his already impulsive nature and his love for renji powering most everything else. ]

...Well, I don't think I could keep you out for long, to be honest... [ keigo sounded a little indignant, like he was caught in an embarrassing trap. he let his fingers drag across renji's chest lightly, truly resisting the urge to tear his clothes off and feel his bare skin. ] ...even if you didn't break down the door, I would have let you in eventually... I don't... really wanna be away from you when I'm like this, but...

[ but...

keigo pressed his hands against renji's chest, putting a little bit of distance between them. ]

Are you sure it's okay?

[ A rake of Keigo's fingers over his chest and Renji was already feeling a shiver shoot up his spine, his fingertips trailing warmth that ended far too abruptly. Renji really was a weak man, weaker still for almost grabbing Keigo and yanking him back when he pushed that slight distance away from him. He made his hands still for a moment, silent as he saw in Keigo's face the willful restraint, before his arms closed tighter around Keigo. Taking control and relinquishing it, all at once. ]

Yeah, I'm sure.

[ No wavering or hesitation. Renji might not look like the sort of man who gave things much thought, the crease on his brow spoke more of grumpiness than deep contemplation, but he had turned this over in his head all day, and for many days before that. And in the end what he knew for sure was this: it wasn't the pheromones that made him want to hold Keigo like this. They just... helped things along, tinder to a flame but not the spark that set it alight. So there wasn't any point in resisting the things that encouraged him to pursue what he already wanted. ]

If you're not gonna come out, you oughta have someone to keep you company.

[ Even if the craving for moonlacing was only mentioned obliquely, Renji heard enough about it to know how hard it must be for Keigo to stay cooped up in his apartment. And, well. ]

'Sides... [ The first hint of something faltering crept up, not in an unsure or doubtful way but the same kind of stalling that made Renji's eyes dart away when he told Keigo his new hairpiece looked better than okay. ] It ain't like... this is all that bad.

[ keigo didn't ever want to doubt renji, but he couldn't help it in this situation. it was actually quite scary that he could be at a point where he wasn't sure where the divide was between the pheromones and renji's actual wants. was he just saying it was okay? did he really mean that? or was it keigo's pheromones influencing his decisions?

renji closing around him even more insistently than before did startle keigo a bit, but he didn't make any move to resist this time, either. maybe this was fine... but there were other parts to it that keigo still had come concern over. ]

Mmn... well... [ keigo leaned his head against renji's chest, his fingers slowly curling around renji's forearm. he figured if they didn't want any secrets between them, it was better to address it now than continue to ignore the issue. ] Maybe now it's not. But when both of us are affected by the moons, I don't want to put you in a position where you're uncomfortable...

[ he was trying so desperately to make his language as neutral and vague as possible, but somehow keigo's face and ears were burning anyway. ]

[ With Keigo's head on his chest, Renji hoped that he didn't have a good view of how his whole face seemed to flush red at even the delicate, careful way Keigo phrased his concerns. Somehow, the euphemisms were almost as bad as Keigo being straightforward and asking him if he was really, really sure that it was okay that his mere presence inflamed an insatiable lust for Keigo pounding him. ]

That's...

[ Renji's voice halted again, caught in a trap of his own making. He should have expected this, after Keigo's post to the network and his repeated concern and, to be honest, his own reticence to talk about... all that... after it had happened.

It'd be easier if Keigo wasn't so damn considerate, worrying about how he felt, wanting to make sure he wasn't "uncomfortable", whatever that meant. After all their time in the station, this was a relatively mild occurrence. It didn't force him into a locked room, muck around inside his head, change his whole history so he couldn't tell reality from fantasy. It just... unearthed a very specific desire.

Well, a very specific desire that Renji had never entertained outside a VR simulation. Had been aggressively disinterested in entertaining, if he were honest. He spent a lot of nights lying awake and trying to sort out his feelings about that affair after the fact. What it meant for him and his self-image to have their positions reversed. He wasn't done sorting them out, really. But in the end, the thing that struck him the most was that nothing changed between them. Keigo still looked at him the same, still treated him the same, and Renji still wanted to be near him.

Not that he could say any of that out loud. Especially not like this, his arms linked around Keigo, Keigo's head pressed against his chest and giving him the distinct impression that he could hear his heartbeat quickening. Renji wasn't the sort of man who could have these kinds of frank discussions anyway. He spoke with his actions, with forcing himself by Keigo's side because it was the place he wanted to be more than anything.

But he'd have to say something. And after a short pause, words tripped out of his mouth, a little faster but more certain as Renji spoke. ]

There's no helping the moon shit... I'm not gonna let you stay locked up here all on your own. And I— I just wasn't expectin' that. At least I know what's comin' this time.

[ Renji's head turned aside, as if he'd said his piece, and then he added in a low murmur: ] And it wasn't... all that bad either.

[ in retrospect, keigo's word choice was... poor. in his quest to remain somewhat vague, it only came out as more suggestive. as renji stumbled over his thoughts, keigo was sorting through his own, careful to keep his head bowed against renji's chest to prevent any further embarrassing revelations. it served its purpose, at least, allowing keigo to feel renji's reiatsu and the chroma generated between them. it was a nice focusing point.

but even that wasn't enough to keep him totally preoccupied. once renji started speaking again, keigo instinctively lifted his head a bit, eyes scaling upward. maybe... that wasn't a good idea. because what renji said was pretty... unexpected.

well, not all of it. the parts about him being stubborn and wanting to keep keigo company... those were expected. but the last remark he made, that quiet addition he slipped in to the end of his statement, made keigo's stomach flip. did he really just... ]

O-oh... [ keigo exhaled a sheepish chuckle, though it was short and brief compared to what he intended to actually respond with. he hurriedly continued, lest renji assume the worst of his reaction. ]

I'm... really glad you said that, actually... I was worried. [ he smiled softly, the faint redness on his face framing the expression as rather gentle and understanding. keigo knew that what renji had just admitted to was rather monumental and so he wanted to impart that understanding. keigo himself had gone through some internal struggles (and still did at times) when it came to his enjoyment of sex with men, so renji's rigid acceptance was quite impressive. and a relief, really. he had genuinely feared that it was another scenario where renji had no real input and was essentially slotted into an autopilot mode...

at any rate, keigo leaned back enough to look up at renji more directly. he placed his hands on his shoulders so as not to truly break that physical tether and to consequently trap renji in place as he continued. ]

But, also... It was ... y'know. [ maybe this was a mistake, but that cordis influence was coloring some of keigo's words just a bit. ] ...it was nice. I wasn't expecting it, either. But if you liked it, that's all that I care about. [ if that wasn't bad enough, keigo's lips parted into a grin. ] Next time, it'll be better. "All that bad" isn't good enough for me! So I'll need to really need to improve my techniques!!

[ welp. just like that, a heartfelt conversation looped right back around to something lewd. ]

[ That offhand comment, masked as a throwaway line, was the hardest part for Renji to say. Almost like everything else was building up to it. He knew that's what Keigo needed to hear. That what happened was okay. And it would be okay even if it happened again, because even if Renji's feelings about Keigo fucking him were still sort of a muddle, he was fine with it because it was Keigo and because it... well, it felt really fucking good. But being this forthright with Keigo, even now, was still a struggle. He was too used to his show of self-sufficient posturing and too old to shed it even in these private moments. Another facet of his much vaunted masculinity that had been forced under scrutiny since he'd started this multiversal tour.

It was especially difficult to be so straightforward when it came to the strong feelings he had for Keigo and their in many ways unconventional relationship. Keigo was the expressive one between the two of them anyway, he said and did enough to cover the both of them. But in times like these, Renji tried to pull his weight.

And there wasn't a lot to regret about that little confession he'd let slip though, seeing the way Keigo beamed now after he'd looked so lost and anxious just a while before. He really worried too much about everything.

That didn't mean that Renji couldn't feel the steam coming out of his ears as Keigo piled more and more suggestive language on him, burying him under a deluge of obscene implications. It felt like the flush on his face had spread to cover his whole body, even his hands seemed to radiate heat as they released their hold on Keigo for the first time, jumping as if he'd been scalded. Keigo's hands on his shoulders kept him from leaping too far, though. ]

O-Oi!! What're you talkin' about?! [ His voice had a flustered stammer. An indignant scowl formed on his lips that didn't quite reach eyes. His gaze darted away, from the grin on Keigo's face to the jewel glinting in his hair and then back. ]

You're thinking too hard about this, idiot!!

[ Another way of saying that Keigo's technique was good. That it was all good. That it should be obvious to him that he liked it because Renji was still here. That Keigo was putting way too much thought into this euphemistic aside just to tease him.

Then again, if Keigo wasn't so embarrassingly thoughtful, he wouldn't be the person he'd fallen for. ]

[ poor renji... it probably was a bit much to be already plotting for their next romp when the mood struck them, but when it came to making those he cared about happy, keigo was diligent. maybe too diligent... even as renji jumped backward, keigo was steadfast, moving along with him to encroach on the newly created space between them. ]

I gotta make sure that you're satisfied! I wouldn't be a good partner if I didn't, right?

[ now the cordis touch was taking its hold in a more direct manner, quickly steering keigo down that more flirtatious and playful route. he slid up closer, letting his arms drape down over renji's back. he chuckled in a low, mischievous manner, ensuring that his touch wasn't outright sexual, but perhaps bordering on a bit suggestive. ]

That's my number one priority. Every time we're together, I want it to be the best time you've ever had. I want it to be on your mind and replaying whenever you're alone.

[ though no matter what type of touch he was imparting, his words were definitely sexual in nature. maybe this was a bit much, given that renji had just painstakingly navigated around his own embarrassment just for keigo's peace of mind. ]

[ Renji knew when he was beaten. Keigo had him on the back foot, literally, since he'd made that embarrassing but necessary confession. He'd rolled over and exposed his weak underbelly and Keigo was not showing him mercy, each lewd implication piling up until it was no longer subtext but the words he'd have written in his obituary because this outpouring of obscene and heartfelt innuendo might actually kill him.

A few times, Renji started to protest, to say that he got the picture, that Keigo really did think way too hard about this, but the words were stifled on his lips as Keigo pushed his campaign onwards. Red painted his face and all the way down his neck as Keigo's arms enclosed him. ]

Settin' the bar high, ain't you?

[ Renji struggled to strike his usual pointed, gruff tone, but even then he sounded too indulgent, more wry than cutting. His arms drew around Keigo's waist, settling there again like it was where they naturally fit, his fingers lacing at the small of Keigo's back. That sweet smell of Keigo's filled his lungs, his face filled his field of vision, and memories of nights together filled his head. It was overwhelming, to feel so thoroughly overrun by one person, but it wasn't wholly unpleasant either. Capitulation seemed almost appealing now. ]

You shouldn't strain yourself rackin' your brains out over something like that.

[ A hand came to Keigo's hair, tracing the cool metal of his barrette with his fingertips as it turned warm under his touch. ]

You oughta know I'm already thinkin' about you.

[ There really was no winning here, but he could at least try to get a few of his own jabs in. He didn't have anything left to lose. ]

[ keigo offered up a soft hum as renji relented and returned to embracing him, his eyes half-lidded and glimmering with amusement. renji really was quite cute when he was embarrassed... and the attempts to interject had been endearing, as well. ultimately, though, keigo knew he'd fold to his wiles and he was content with that result.

but that was the drawback to being confident: leaving oneself open to a counterattack. keigo was pretty certain that renji was going to try and change the subject or struggle through his embarrassment, and his first replies seemed to agree with that assumption. it wasn't until renji stroked his fingers against keigo's hair and the barrette there did keigo realize that maybe he wasn't quite throwing the towel in yet.

he was right. renji really did throw one last suckerpunch that knocked the wind right out of him. it was a simple statement, stupidly so, but its simplicity made it all the more powerful to keigo. renji was never generous with sharing his innermost thoughts or feelings, so keigo felt safe to assume that he didn't need to know everything to experience being loved by renji. but just hearing something that heartfelt in plain words made keigo flush hotly as he looked up at renji with slightly widened eyes. it made him realize quite frankly that he really did love him, that this feeling they shared was real.

if not for the moon, keigo would have turned into a stammering, emotional mess. thankfully, at most, he exhaled a sheepish chuckle and donned an equally sheepish smile, tilting his head to one side in a sort of coy fashion. ]

How romantic... [ keigo reached up to twist his fingers playfully through renji's hair. he sounded playful, but he was sincere. ] But you're right. I do know that, 'cause it's the same for me. [ he leaned into renji, nuzzling against his neck, enjoying the reiatsu that rolled off of him like waves. ] But let me be an overachiever for once. [ a warm breath puffed against his skin, the precursor to a slow and indulgent kiss pressed against his neck. ] I want you to feel the same way I do when you fuck me.

PRISMATICA ►INBOX

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